Posts Tagged ‘ADHD’

Should We Get a Label?

March 30, 2010

Sticker face Pictures, Images and PhotosThere was a time when my answer was clear and firm.
I used to say…. sure, go ahead and test. Getting a label takes the pressure off the child who’s been thinking he’s defective.
A label gives you a reason for all the clear challenges that have been a part of his life.
It removes personal blame.
It’s freeing.
It’s truth.

In fact, the preface of my first book How to Get Your Child Off the Refrigerator and On To Learning takes this stand with enthusiasm.
“Put the Label on the Table” I happily burble. “If you don’t come up with a label, your child will gravitate to their own self diagnosis. And what they typically come up with is ‘I’m stupid.’ So yes, yes, and yes. Get a label as soon as you can.”

I still believe in the value of having a clear recognition of just what is going on. But the years have added to my understanding of the ramifications of that label. It doesn’t simply give you a name to call this condition. It gives you much, much more. There are things that come with this label than I had not originally realized. (more…)

It’s the Mother’s Fault

February 26, 2010

stress Pictures, Images and Photos
My oh my.

I shall never complain again.

You know how people sometimes say something about our wiggly or distractible kids and they are waaaaaaay off base, so much so that it’s almost humorous?

Such things no longer bring defensiveness from me.

Usually I just nod, and give them a knowing smile.

Like the day one of my son’s teacher’s said to me, “Oh I don’t believe he’s ADHD. He couldn’t be. Why…he has said things in my class that are truly insightful and intelligent.”

<knowing smile>

Or how about, “Is it really ADHD? Or is it Sin?”

<knowing smile> plus maybe a few gracious words intended to educate.

But let’s talk about THE BIG GUILT—those comments that are intended to suggest that our child is the way he or she is because of something we’ve done…some bad parenting choice we’ve made. (more…)

Do I Make People Tired?

February 6, 2010

sleeping cats Pictures, Images and PhotosThere’s a conversation you should have with your Sizzler.
Not so much, if they’re the dreamy, mind-just-sort-of-wanders type of child.
But rather, with the child who talks a mile a minute about each and every thing that pops into their heads (which is constantly full of such pops) and is absolutely compelled to share it all with you (or whomever is within three feet of them) in a non-stop, rambling, even tenacious fashion, complete with sound effects, hand motions and above all…en-THU-siasm.

That is the child to whom the following thoughts are dedicated. (more…)