Archive for the ‘Understanding your Sizzler’ Category

Should We Get a Label?

March 30, 2010

Sticker face Pictures, Images and PhotosThere was a time when my answer was clear and firm.
I used to say…. sure, go ahead and test. Getting a label takes the pressure off the child who’s been thinking he’s defective.
A label gives you a reason for all the clear challenges that have been a part of his life.
It removes personal blame.
It’s freeing.
It’s truth.

In fact, the preface of my first book How to Get Your Child Off the Refrigerator and On To Learning takes this stand with enthusiasm.
“Put the Label on the Table” I happily burble. “If you don’t come up with a label, your child will gravitate to their own self diagnosis. And what they typically come up with is ‘I’m stupid.’ So yes, yes, and yes. Get a label as soon as you can.”

I still believe in the value of having a clear recognition of just what is going on. But the years have added to my understanding of the ramifications of that label. It doesn’t simply give you a name to call this condition. It gives you much, much more. There are things that come with this label than I had not originally realized. (more…)

That Meltdown Thing Again

March 17, 2010

phanuu3 Pictures, Images and PhotosToday is my youngest child’s birthday. Yes…a St. Patrick’s Day baby!…which has always left her convinced that the world is actually celebrating her birthday as well.
Never let it be said that THIS child lacks self-esteem.
We’ve yet to tell her about the green beer events.  T’would only confuse.

This year, she has been given rein to do much of the planning for today’s birthday activities.

I should have known.
I should have seen the cloud descending. (more…)

Do You Know Me?

February 23, 2010

demented star Pictures, Images and PhotosI have a young Sizzler who is perhaps short on patience, perhaps short on perseverance, and perhaps even short on height (she IS her mother’s child).
But this child is most definitely NOT short on self-esteem.
She is clearly born with that survivor gene that says no matter what else is happening around her, she knows she has great value whether the rest of the world sees it or not.

Just to give you an idea of the scope of this quality in my child…

The year was 2004.
I had my children watching President Ronald Reagan’s funeral on TV. (more…)

Where Do I Find Understanding?

February 10, 2010

confused Pictures, Images and PhotosSome time ago, I received a letter which posed the question…

“How do I get other people to understand my son?”I thought I’d jot down a wee bit of a note to this distraught mom, but 42 paragraphs later (tiny exaggeration) I had spilled many more of my thoughts onto paper (okay…onto screen).
Here’s the spill…

As to your question on how to get others to understand your child…
My answer actually starts with some bad news, but it gets better from there.
So please read to the end. (more…)

Do I Make People Tired?

February 6, 2010

sleeping cats Pictures, Images and PhotosThere’s a conversation you should have with your Sizzler.
Not so much, if they’re the dreamy, mind-just-sort-of-wanders type of child.
But rather, with the child who talks a mile a minute about each and every thing that pops into their heads (which is constantly full of such pops) and is absolutely compelled to share it all with you (or whomever is within three feet of them) in a non-stop, rambling, even tenacious fashion, complete with sound effects, hand motions and above all…en-THU-siasm.

That is the child to whom the following thoughts are dedicated. (more…)

Knowing When to Shut Up

February 5, 2010

shhh! Pictures, Images and PhotosMy son recently returned from a weekend camping retreat with several other teens his age.  With sleepy and tired speech he informed me that he’d had a great time and that nothing had gone wrong (always in my line up of questions).  A short time later I phoned the gentleman who had been driver/counselor for the group over the weekend and asked him how things went, specifically for my son.  He gave rather lukewarm comments and I knew that something wasn’t right.  I pressed him a bit, fearing something dreadful.  In the end he confessed that while nothing dreadful had occurred, my son did need to learn the “fine art of knowing when to shut up.”  I probably should have been upset in some way, but in truth I just laughed.  I know he’s right.  I know my son has… (more…)